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12/06-06/07
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Goodbye Pop - Part II
read part I by clicking hereMy father was big on catch phrases. The one that has started to make more and more sense to me in recent years is this, "If you are not going forward you are going backwards."
Maintaining your life is sometimes a difficult task. Being content sometimes is a welcome relief when you have been striving towards a goal. This stagnancy however does nothing to advance your spirit, your soul or your life. Moving forward even if with the too often used term "baby steps" is better than sitting still.
I will go forward from this time in my life with a heavy heart but with a determination to learn from the past.
I do miss my Dad. I do not like the fact that I can never or will never talk to him again.
But I assure you that at every big event in my life that he will be there, in my thoughts and in spirit. That includes his grandchildren's graduations, weddings, and at the birth of their children. When Notre Dame scores a come from behind game winning touchdown he will be the first one I think of.
When we were traveling through the Smoky Mountains on the way home from the funeral I experienced a very special moment with my family. My wife was looking up ahead at the mountains that seemed like a silhouette as they were covered in a haze. "That is cool." She said, "They don't even look real."
I replied, "That is why they are called the Smokies. They often look like they are covered in smoke." "Really? I never knew that." We sat there a few moments and my wife picked up on the fact that I was getting emotional. I don't know, it could have been the tears streaming down my face that gave it away. "What is wrong? What is it?" She asked After a few moments and after I regained my composure I told her, "Many, many years ago when I was a kid driving through these mountains on a trip to Atlanta for a furniture market, or to Florida on vacation my father taught me that.
I know I will have many memories like this in the future. Eventually I am sure they will not bring on the same emotion that I experienced that day. The thing is that right at that moment I remembered vividly a simpler time in my life. A time when my life was filled with things like Little League games, school dances, and traveling with my parents. There were new discoveries daily and it would be years before I received my first bill in the mail. It will never be that way again for me but I must remember it is that way right now for my children.
After I told her this my wife rubbed the back of my neck and wiped away a tear. "Maybe you should take this opportunity to teach your boys what your father taught you."
She was right of course and I did. They did not know the significance at that moment of what this meant to me. I am certain that one day in the future they will.
Goodbye Pop. I love you and I miss you.
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