Dear Britney - Coffee and Prozac

One of my favorite stories details a conversation between two older gentleman at an opera who were marveling at the angelic voice and amazing beauty of one of the very young female singers. One of the gentleman says, "What a beautiful voice she has. A real talent!" The other gentleman just as enamored but perhaps a little wiser said, "Just imagine how beautiful she will sing when she has her heart broken for the first time."

You have a tremendous opportunity right now. Let me explain further.

Before the recent events in your life you were undoubtedly a pop icon. A superstar in a country populated with stars. Everything you touched turned to gold or shall I say platinum.

You had every little girls dream. An idyllic life. You were a freaking Mouseketeer for goodness sake.

All that success would have gotten old after awhile. Boring. Nobody is that perfect. Even though you did pull off the virgin thing for quite some time.

But now you are real. You are one of us. You have gone through pain. Now you are primed for a comeback. And you know what I truly feel the majority of people are ready for it.

The majority of people want to see you succeed. Your marriage is in shambles, you shaved your head, you spent a month in rehab. Way to go. You've got some scars. Well it was about time.

Britney, you made some mistakes. You used bad judgment. It just made us love you all the more. We make mistakes all the time. We use bad judgment every day. The two of us, and by that I mean you and the American public can now relate.

I've created a little to-do list for you.

1. Spend time with your kids.

2. Grow some hair

3. Buy some underwear

4. Spend some more time with the kids.

5. Hook Paris up with Federline and stay the hell away from them

6. Go back in the studio and let us hear something deep. Something with an edge. Give us a little more Janis Joplin and a little less Mouseketeer.

We have all weathered the storm and so can you.

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