Progressive muscle relaxation is a technique of stress management developed by American physician Edmund Jacobson in the early 1920s. Jacobson argued that since muscular tension accompanies anxiety, one can reduce anxiety by learning how to relax the muscles.

Sit in a comfortable chair or lie in bed. Get as comfy as possible.  Take those tight jeans off and kick off your shoes. Take three deep breaths. What you will be doing is alternately tensing and relaxing specific groups of muscles. After tensing, a muscle will be more relaxed than prior to the tensing.  Learn to recognize the contrast between tension and relaxation.

Don't tense muscles other than the specific group at each step. Avoid holding your breath or gritting your teeth.  Each tensing is for 10 seconds; each relaxing is for 10 or 15 seconds. Count "1,000 2,000..." until you have a feel for how long 10 seconds is.

Note that each step is really two steps – one cycle of tension-relaxation for each set of opposing muscles.  Do the entire sequence once a day until you feel you are able to control your muscle tensions.

1. Hands. The fists are tensed; relaxed. The fingers are extended; relaxed.

2. Biceps and triceps. The biceps are tensed (make a muscle – but shake your hands to make sure not tensing them into a fist); relaxed (drop your arm to the chair). The triceps are tensed (try to bend your arms the wrong way); relaxed (drop them).

3. Shoulders. Pull the shoulders back; relax them. Push the shoulders forward (hunch); relax.

4. Neck (lateral). With the shoulders straight and relaxed, the head is turned slowly to the right, as far as you can; relax. Turn to the left; relax.

5. Neck (forward). Dig your chin into your chest; relax. Do not force your head back on this one to avoid injury.

6. Mouth. The mouth is opened as far as possible; relaxed. The lips are forced together as tightly as possible; relaxed.

7. Tongue (extended and retracted). With mouth open, extend the tongue as far as possible; relax. Bring your tongue back in your throat as far as possible; relax.

8. Tongue (roof and floor). Dig your tongue into the roof of your mouth; relax. Dig it into the bottom of your mouth; relax.

9. Eyes. Open them as wide as possible; relax. Close your eyes tightly (squint); relax.

10. Breathing. Take as deep a breath as possible – and then take a little more; let it out and breathe normally for 15 seconds. Let all the breath in your lungs out – and then a little more; inhale and breathe normally for 15 seconds.

11. Back. With shoulders resting on the back of the chair, push your body forward so that your back is arched; relax. Be very careful with this one, or don't do it at all.

12. Butt. Tense the butt tightly and raise pelvis slightly off chair; relax. Dig buttocks into chair; relax.

13. Thighs. Extend legs and raise them about 6in. off the floor or the foot rest but don't tense the stomach' relax. Dig your feet (heels) into the floor or foot rest; relax.

14. Stomach. Pull in the stomach as far as possible; relax completely. Push out the stomach or tense it as if you were preparing for a punch in the gut; relax.

15. Calves and feet. Point the toes (without raising the legs); relax. Point the feet up as far as possible (beware of cramps – if you get them or feel them coming on, shake them loose); relax.

16. Toes. With legs relaxed, dig your toes into the floor; relax. Bend the toes up as far as possible; relax.

Now simply relax for as long as possible.  Translation:  Relax as long as your kids, spouse or boss will let you.

As your skill level rises you may wish to skip the steps that do not appear to be a problem for you. These exercises will not eliminate tension, but when it arises, you will know it immediately, and you will be able to use muscle relaxation to attack it.