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My Six Month Old Is An Addict - And I Am Co-Dependant
At only six months old she has all the signs of an addict. Moody, puffy red eyes from crying, she can't sleep, fever, and constant drooling.
The thing that I am ashamed of is that I am an enabler. I am her
supplier. I get the stuff for her. Yeah that's right, I
am the "pusher man". Oh the humanity!
Last night I went to a perfect stranger looking for the stuff at 2 a.m. in the morning. Like a scene out of an old western
I slowly approached. I looked over my left shoulder and then my right in an effort to see if anyone was watching.
"What can I do for you?" He asked, as if he didn't already know.
"I need to get me some." He had a quizzical look on his face. I guess I was going to have to spell it out for him. "The good stuff man. You know what I mean. Baby Anbesol."
He took off walking. "It's over here on aisle 3." He eyed the shelf and then pointed to an empty spot. "Uh oh. It looks
like we are all out."
Sweat beads started to form instantly on my brow. The tension was
indescribable. I resisted the urge to grab the 19 year old
boy by his shirt collar and raising him up until his feet were off the ground. I resisted partly because I knew it would not
do any good to get rough, partly because he weighed every bit of 320 lbs but mostly because there were security camera's everywhere.
"You don't understand man. I need it. She needs it. She can't sleep. And if she can't sleep, I can't sleep. I'm desperate."
"Dude, try Walgreens."
He just called me dude. I nodded my head. "Uhmmmm, I could do that."
Alas, Walgreens did have it. I bought three tubes of the stuff. I could not wait to get home and give my baby girl the good
stuff.
It was instantaneous satisfaction. You could see the calming effect in her eyes. She was hooked, it was painfully obvious.
She licked her lips to get every last little
bit and then she smiled. I laid her on my chest and watched as the eyes rolled back in her head and then closed. I breathed
a sigh of relief and then my eyes did the same thing.
For this addiction there would be no 12 Step program. Only time will be required to get her off the Anbesol.
In fact in time these same teeth she is cutting,
I will be pulling out. By then the memories of the sleepless nights will be gone and I will only be able to remember what it felt
like to have her sleeping on my shoulder. I will long for these days and wish they had never past.