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My Name Is Dan And I Am Oprah-phobic
Thankfully I can speak about the return of Monday Night Football on
the same day that I can speak about Oprah's new season beginning.
My wife is just as excited about the return of the latter as I am about the return of the former.
That being said I must admit that I do on occasion watch Oprah. If I were to be honest many of her shows are interesting, have interesting guests, and have an educational and informative message.
There is a phenomenon among males that I like to refer to as Oprahphobia. Essentially many males are scared to admit that on occasion they are guilty of watching an episode of Oprah. It is even more heinous if that male were to admit that they enjoyed watching Oprah on occasion.
Enjoying an episode of Oprah should not necessitate a 12 step program.
One day last season I was relaying the details of an episode that I had watched when one of my friends looked at me and said, "You were watching Oprah?"
The implication was obvious. What kind of sissy boy watches Oprah Winfrey. I felt compelled to save myself. "Well my wife was watching it."
He said nothing but looked at me with his eyebrows raised. "What was I going to do?"
Still no response. "I had just got done mowing the lawn and I sat down on the couch to relax. She was really into it and I did not have the heart to change it to Sports Center."
This is another symptom of Opraphobia. If one has let it slip that they watched even a portion of an episode it must have occurred before, during, or after some manly chore.
This same scenario is played out all across America every day. I have seen multiple times where a man is called out for watching Oprah.
It is possible for a man, yes a real man to watch Monday Night Football and Oprah on the same day.
I do not seek out Oprah. I do not DVR Oprah. I do not run into the living room at 4:00 when Oprah is on. I do not race home from my Pilates class to watch Oprah.
If me and my wife are home at the same time and she is watching Oprah I will sit down and watch with her. It is okay. I do not wear any more pink than I used to, and I am still trying to figure out why all women think Johnny Depp is cute.
The next time someone calls me out for watching Oprah I am just going to look at him and ask, "Do you have a problem with it? Because I will kick your ass..."
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